5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
