I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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