she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
