There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
