Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Your penis caused this!
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
