I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize