I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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