I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
