official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
