so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
