im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
