He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
COCAINE IS GR8
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
