The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
