Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
