her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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