I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The air taste purple.
Randomize
