I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
