What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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