if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
