My sheets look like a crime scene.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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