Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
