Sacagawea was the original milf.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
