Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
one two three fourrrrnication!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
