True but thats because hes a fetus.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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