NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
