somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Too much gin, very little bucket
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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