Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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