Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just invented taco cereal.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
