i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
In America we eat man semen.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
