Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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