well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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