don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
