I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
