If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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