I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
