That's when you crack a 10am beer
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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