so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
