That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
