i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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