garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
