We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
