You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
