and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
