I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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