Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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