you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
