His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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