He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
