4 words: hood of his car
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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