brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
