It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
