Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
